Disclaimer: I am not Herman Melville, John Claggart, Billy Budd, and Edward Fairfax Vere are all his creations.
[Referring, of course to the Opera “Billy Budd”, by Benjamin Britten.]
I am a: man — hell, yeah
Looking for: men!
Age: thirty-and-five. Stupid directors make me look a great deal older.
Current location: H.M.S Indomitable
Name: John Claggart
Current Rank and Position: Master-at-Arms
Nicknames and Aliases: “Jimmy Legs”, “The perv with the rattan over there, and I never said that.”
Spare and tall, of no ill figure upon the whole. I’ve got small, shapely hands, a notable face, to avoid saying “striking”. I got silken jet curls partly clustered over my brow, contrasting nicely with the pallor of my skin, a pallor tinged with a faint shade of amber akin to the hue of time-tinted marbles of old… *)
Basic character traits being:
(My writer mentioned it anyway, so I might as well tell you)
- constitutional sobriety
- ingratiating deference to superiors
- a ferreting genius (kind of charming, isn’t it?)
Overall, I give the impression of a man of high quality, social and moral, who for reasons of his own is keeping incog — I got my reasons, believe me.
Actually, I would like to give a few directors a good flogging, just because of how they tend to depict me, as it makes it incredibly hard for me to establish any long-term relationship.
They tend to force me into that BDSM-corner which I don’t really feel at home at. Though, as my writer insists, I am the “opposite of a saint”, and luckily, I can fully agree with that. With me, you surely can have a great, interesting, and even fun time.
In fact, I am quite a people person, even huggable at times — no wimp, like “Starry” Vere. Currently, though, I have no sex-life worth mentioning involving other persons, I won’t even bother to watch floggings anymore.
There is a new guy in the crew. Will check him out — he seems a bit boring though. I don’t mind his stuttering, or the habit of singing partisan songs; what freaks me out, is that he is apparently going for Vere. Assuredly he spilt his soup for the sole reason to conceal his drooling as the captain passed by. How can he, especially, when there’s me around! Vere is worse than perv — he is a Puritan, for Christ’s sake, touchiness personified… The only chance he would ever even give a hug to Billy is post-mortem!
Adding to that, for everything else he lacks even the basic skills, I guess — perhaps some of the crew could at least make explicit drawings for him.
Vere is a spoil-sport, too. I recently teased him, deliberately; he didn’t even properly shout at me — just sang on in a pleasant tenor voice.
He scares me. If Billy sticks with him, he is utterly boned, in an unpleasant un-literal meaning of the word. Trust on cowards, and you are forsaken. But who cares for them anyway. I am bored, so I will try to make their lives unpleasant — business as usual for me.
Oh, I’ve got to fill that one in too, let’s see: “Special talents … hobbies … preferences…”
Well, I’d say, I haven’t even told my writer about those, won’t tell you straight away, but… You might find out, in time — if you try,… hard enough. (Saying this in the sweet voice peculiar to me at times.)
Looking for a man, handsomeness is a plus, goodness doesn’t have to be fulfilled in every field. Someone who can put up with me — no fanboys please, have tons of them, cannot stand them.
If you are interested, contact me via the
H.M. Naval Base
Portsmouth, Hampshire, England
I am curious to hear from you; one last thing to add: If I choose to be down on somebody, it will surely not be to their disadvantage.