Fujoshi or girlfag?

I just found out there is a Japanese term for a female yaoi-fan — most of them are female: “Fujoshi”.

Yaoi is mostly explicit manga art depicting homosexual relationships, as a rule with more focus on the sexual encounters than its moderate form which is called shonen-ai. (Any manga nerd who wants to add a better definition is welcome.)

The existing cliché concerning girls who like to draw and enjoy yaoi is not kind. They are supposedly school-kids, lacking real life, clue-less, fierce cat-lovers, and loving boy-on-boy action as a substitute for their own missing love-life, also putting themself at a safe distance in various ways.

Yet, the few fellow yaoi lovers I know in person are contradicting this cliché, not only marginally, but at the very core. Just to make it simple, I will take myself as an example for comparison:

There is to say that my preference for the gay subculture is nothing new. When I grew up and went out I mostly did so with my gay friends, and found it much more enjoyable than time spent in “straight” clubs, e.g.. I often asked myself if being not the object of desire played a role back then — I won’t rule it out, but my verdict after all those years is: it has never been a key factor. Yes, I found gay sex hot — and my gay friends were conscious of that fact. However, this excluded any voyeurism regarding friends, because, bleh. Yet what was the most important aspect: I enjoyed being accepted for how I am, and not only being talked to out of sexual interest and being discarded when I kindly denied.

“Don’t look now, but this girlfag person is watching again…”

Another point I greatly valued was that gay people on the whole seemed more open concerning their emotions and sexual matters. No teenage girl can talk with a bunch of straight guys over the table about the advantages and disadvantages of sex toys without needing a machete later to fend the guys off, or causing them to faint at the mere attempt to talk such matters.

In contrast to my closed-up class-mates struggling in the aftermath of their own puberty, the gay subculture was a place where I could be myself.  It has to be stressed, I won’t sanctify gay people overall — they can go on your, in my case, non-existent balls, just like everyone else.  Still, I never have met more acceptance and tolerance than I encountered there.

One person from this time is still very dear to me; we evolved a huge platonic crush on each other already the very first time we met. I cried my heart out when he had to leave a few days after, but we never lost contact. Without being such a fag-hag, fujoshi and girlfag, I never would have met him and would have missed a wonderful friend for over twenty years by now.

Oh, an annotation: I’m not too fond of cats, at least not of the indoors-version. But I do miss my guinea-pigs…

(Don’t let appearances fool you — the left one was called “The Boss.”)


11 thoughts on “Fujoshi or girlfag?

  1. Oh, your follicular type seems perfect to me 😉 We could swop for a while. It’s hard to be taken seriously if you look like spawned from a German operetta… *sigh. 😉

  2. I’m surprised the Fujoushi stereotype chart dosn’t have cats in the background. How many yaoi mangas have I read where the mangaka talks about her cats.

    It’s also scary that the skinny pantsless chick is considered “flabby.”

    • Thanks for your comment! Well, flabby.. I guess flabby is anything that is not the result of a work-out. By now I accepted my body as it just is, and it’s very distinctly female, no matter how thin I would be. I actually lost a bit of weight since the picture above, but accidentally.
      My aesthetic ideal is… people who look fit, but not like they live in the gym. 😉

  3. i’m a fujoshi too, and i don’t reaaaly like animals, because of my parents, so no cats for me
    and i have flabby arms and hips yes, and not exactly thin, but it’s okay, since i lost 18 kg (thaaat’s, 36 pounds, i think?, i don’t know)
    and my eyesight is perfectly, and i wear jeans and sweaters and dresses and skirts, so normal woman clothes
    and yess, i have 2 gay friends (they are a couple), my best friend. and they ask me sometimes for advice and i just looove to answer their questions
    so, i don’t think i’m a standard fujoshi no, so i hate it what other people think that everyone is suuper-obsessed with yaoi and everyting
    and i’m an otaku too, yess ;p
    (aaand btw, i’m waaay too young actually >.<)

    • Thanks for leaving a comment! I’ve been awfully busy recently, even too busy to dwell on naughty stuff, and this says something.
      Well, it’s funny at any rate how much people rely on clichés when they never fit.

      And I haven’t heard the bit about the “too young” now, btw. 😀

  4. i just want to tell you as a straight male, its not that anime community hates yaoi or shonen ai or gay ships in general, like do you think we straight guys are different? we swing our sexuality 90° when we see hideyoshi or totsuka saika (he is my waifu i swear i love him) but here is why we guys and sometimes even girls end up retorting to the disgusting homophobic words like faggots, lets be honest we know how internet it right? okay now combine internet+anonymous+yaoi which i remind you is not just simply boy love but striaght up gay porno, do you know what it results in? it results in something so bad, anime community ended up using word 腐女子 or Fu Jo Shi which means “Rotten girl” or “Trash girl” americanised version being disgusting girl, well the problem is, as many girls thing no the fact we guys are homophobes or we hare gay characters in anime (just to let yoy know whis from Dragon Ball is gay) problem is obsesiveness of yaoi community in general who are … … … obsessed, like a good majority, we cant say every fujoshi is cancerous, but it will be like sayong not every cow can moo (yeah some cant moo, some are maim, but they are still loved)

    so what is the biggie with it? well there is, yaoi club has this thing called “lets be assholes” how okay, here is the thing, there is your favorite hero as you have known, Goku and Vegeta, married, children, happy life, kinda frienemy and besties, how about making a gay porn of it? … nah, its no biggie, just keep it on the porn section of internet, but no ..m devian art, youtube, google +, hoo boy face book, twitter, like, why do you ship them i dont care, why are you uploading it everywhere? just think a little in guys perspective, you dont want to see your hero have gay sex with your other hero, same goes from Eren and Levi, i dont want to imagine my favorite 40 year old character who is almost like a older brother figure in anime raping a 16 year old kid, boy or girl regardless! they are straight on top of that! … okay, now here is few things, i get porn exist, because that is rule 34 of internet, gay porn in no exeption but … cant you put a tag or warning in it? sometimes there is a yapi alert, oh cool, we should leave, but some times … bam! Sasuke’s dick in Naruto’s asshole! boruto is watching his dad cheating on his mom … why … just why? imagine if there was like lesbian porn every where? at some point you cant avoid it, or lets say lots of BDSM women getting torturned, heck i would cringe at that, you see what i am getting at?

    lastly, these are minor reason which can be neglected, i mean this much even lesb porn fans do and yuri fans do or shonen ai fans always did and shojo fans … oh wait they dont do it, anyways the biggest problem

    you guys … i mean only the bad one … are idiots, the ships i mentioned here lets see Goku x vegeta Gogeta is not fusion but name of gay porn now, we cant search a cool combined version of all time favorite hero without searching there … gay porn *sigh* (they have kids! for buddah sake! they have kids! how people dont crige with this? i wont even watch hetro porn of them … ) okay, there ais natsu ×grey and i dont know uh Sasuke X Naruto and also one for pretty much every shonen made … every single one … how ever here is what make me furious, Kuroshitsuji, an original shonen ai with actual shonen in it … has no porn or doujin of it … why? just why?

    see by a female perspective they must be thinking i am just going werewolf on all of you and you need a whole army with machette coated in cianinde to stop me but, trust me i am not, that is not my job, its job of religion, i am a rational person who believes too much of anything is bad, what i am getting at is, i always wondered why … yuri fans (no nick names?) i thought why they dont get the hate must be as bad and cancerous as yaoi but, well so i looking few online communities and … to my amusements … its was other way arround, i mean course there was fact i am a guy and lesb yuri stuff as its space but none of the character were … well familiars, all we original, but that is only my bias, i saw many parodies as well like lucy x erza with name “crimson golden” or sakura x hinata named “plot and justice XD” they were funny, sexual too, i did not read them … well i peeked, but i talked to the commentors on those sites and it seemed like … well they were different, they were chill, calm, rational, they were even saying the love this but hope this never actually happens, suddenly a straight character going lesb was mind boggling and may hurt female readers who shipped them with guys, that would disloyality and actually expecting ships likw that is disrespectful to authors as well, they were more focused on actual yuri ships, like uranus and neptune from sailors moon … boy i found things i should no have in doujin sites, but they were more open and public about it, i asked a question why other yuri ships are not this popular? they replied with “well … womt that be awkward? it would be weird to other readers” … politeness? holy shit! i am sold, i am sold! is this yuri magic? lol, jk further a female reader replied “to put it simply, they are not homosexual, they are into guys, its obvious, we cant ruin a perfectly good ship because of a ship that does not even make sense” … she was reading yuri, i took is she is a lesb or i would have just asked her out that moment, but the point is … cant you guys calm down? all we remaining anime community ask is, tone it down, its may to read gay porn, we dont judge, specially men dont judge, but … can you stop making it so … public, yaoi is such a common word, it has lost its meaning, its not shonen ai you are talking about, its legit yaoi! i dont even care about those thing, you can read junjou romantica, i read shonen ai too sometimes as an anime fan, i like Hachiman x totsuka saika, but because they both might be actually and often blush when looming at each other or say things like “i want to be yours” or “be mine” they can be cannon in the alternate medias like game which open multiple routes, but its not same with most of our shonen, things like gogeta or ash x gary, even zoro x luffh … they hurt, it hurts to see how they think two guys rarely highfiving each other means they want to do a 69 while a guys getting look at boobs and having major nosebleed is … nothing to them? why are you posting fetished gay porn on public child safe sites like youtube with no adult warning? yesterday i saw a pic of nagisa riding karma, okaaayyy, f*cks sake, they are middle schoolers! even if they are gay! they were recently 7th and 8th graders! how could you for christ sake! uggghhh! if you need pedophille yaoi, then why dont you ship sebastian and ciel? we guys ship it too! or alois and clad? why not those!!! … … … i will end this essay with minor detail, we hate the gay ships, not because they are gay, because you guys are assholes, half of the time the shippers complain about how hinata should just die or kayane is a wall between karma and nagisa like … can you stop? this is … i never saw a yuri fan hating a male charcter, hell even we hetro shippers dont hate a positive character … unless its yuki rito, he is probably not even gay, he is downright castrated or something, please … … … see you seem like a rational person, i just saw this meme on internet, i donr know, those descriptions do fit you created by the community, yes you are curvacious but you looks good, but its not about appearance … we hetro shipping, straight girls, and specially straight guys … we are not homophobic monsters you know … even we might have homosexual friend, heck i have dated a bi sexual chick in past, i know their life can be hard, i have had a gay friend since highschool and i did not even care about it till i learned about this … whole orlando shooting and what is homophobia, you dont need ro femd us or hit us with matchette … we just want you guys to stop being so … violent with whar you love.

    • First of all thank you for your elaborate comment! I am more than just busy these days and want to give your comment the thought it deserves, so a reply will take me a while. First of all: times have changed. I have changed too. Probably, today, I would write the same post differently too, or not write it at all. So I first need to check what the hell I wrote, years ago, then give your comment the proper thought.

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