Proclaim we all great Caesar’s glory, I mean, srsly!

I lack the skills in lol-cats slang to be able to appropriately render the synopsis of G.F.Handel’s Julius Caesar here. But I thought I’d make at least a few lolcats.

Well, I’ll give it a try.

~ Basic setup ~

Personage:

Julius Caesar: Emperor. Just conquered Egypt, currently reigned by
Cleopatra: Queen of Egypt.

Tolomeo: Her emotionally unstable and very sissy little brother who makes plans for his own world dominion, which do not include Cleopatra. Maybe not the most healthy relationship to his sister too. I suspect him to wear her underwear in secret.
Achilles: Caesar’s ally, thought it was a great idea to serve him the head of a political opponent, Pompejo, as a prize. Caesar is not amused, however.
Cornelia and Sesto: The late Pompejo’s wife and son, so they’re not amused either.

The characters’ relations to each other:

People of Egypt: Caesar, you pwn, srsly!
Caesar: ofc
Caesar sees Cleopatra, a lot of d’awwwing ensues.
Cleopatra: Ur cute.
Tolomeo: Caesar, U  suck, and Cleopatra, your teh bitch!
Achilles: They all suck,  Sesto 1st on my list, but I kinda like his mom, and she could stop whining I killed her husband, srsly.
Sesto: *Epic emo fit, spreading suicidal tendencies, but in the most charming of ways. A lot of b’awwwwwwing ensuing with Cornelia, his mom.
….
I need more time for this. For now, a few lolcats, proclaiming Handel’s glory, I hope.

Tutto può donna vezzosa (Cleopatra)

Tutto può donna vezzosa,
se amorosa
scioglie il labbro, o gira il guardo.

Ogni colpo piaga un petto,
se difetto
non v’ha quel che scocca il dardo.

Va tacito e nascosto (Cesare)
(How silently, how slyly)

Va tacito e nascosto,
quand’avido è di preda,
l’astuto cacciator.

E chi è mal far disposto,
non brama che si veda
l’inganno del suo cor.

Son nata a sospirar (Cornelia/Sesto)
(Condemn’d to grieve and cry)

Son nata a lagrimar/Son nato a sospirar,
e il dolce mio conforto,
ah, sempre piangerò.

Se il fato ci tradì,
sereno e lieto dì
mai più sperar potrò.

Se in fiorito almeno prato (Cesare)
(Fleet o’er flowery meadow gliding)

Se in fiorito ameno prato
l’augellin tra fiori e fronde
si nasconde,
fa più grato
il suo cantar.

Se così Lidia vezzosa
spiega ancor notti canore,
più graziosa
fa ogni core
innamorar.

Dall’ondoso periglio — Aure, deh, per pietà (Cesare)
(From the perils of the ocean — Zephyrs, come to mine aid)

Dall’ondoso periglio
salvo mi porta al lido
il mio propizio fato.

Qui la celeste parca
non tronca ancor lo stame alla mia vita!
Ma dove andrò? e chi mi porge aita?
Solo in queste erme arene
al monarca del mondo errar conviene?

Aure, deh, per pietà
spirate al petto mio,
per dar conforto, oh dio,
al mio dolor.

Dite: dov’è, che fa
l’idol del mio sen,
l’amato e dolce ben
di questo cor?

Ma d’ogni intorno i’ veggio
sparse d’arme e d’estinti
l’infortunate arene,
segno d’infausto annunzio al fin sarà.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s